kickstarter

I feel I have to at least put a link to my Kickstarter campaign: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/emiliemcdonald/crossing-the-river for my short film about a modern-day hate crime, and also about understanding and tolerance.

It is been an exceptionally challenging balance of filmmaker and mama these past few weeks.

Hangin' in and I think Miranda is still learning new things each day and getting mucho love.

7 more days, over $7K to raise! I have always been an optimist.. it's a long shot but I am hopeful!!!

Miranda at 3 years 11 months

My daughter is growing up right before my eyes. In the last few weeks, she's started using a Southern accent out of nowhere at a specific moment that made me laugh; she's seemed to have literally gotten taller and lankier; she is speaking very specifically and clearly with very thought-out sentences (for example: "Do you want to know another thing that I'm thankful for? I'm thankful for my friend named Laura.") It is both beautiful and heartbreaking.. Her youth vanishing before my eyes. I know I am being dramatic. I think it is a gentle reminder to TRULY appreciate each and every moment with her because it is so precious. And nothing matters more.

sunday

A lovely crisp autumn day. My husband and daughter went to see children's short films and have lunch; I stayed home and worked on my prospectus for my short film "Crossing the River". It was a much-needed work time; but... I missed them and felt wistful for missing out on family time when my husband works so many hours during the week. However, we did have many other lovely moments this week, albeit many of them with just Miranda and I: a visit to Stone Barns Farm near Tarrytown; a trip to Dumbo for Jane's Carousel and Brooklyn Ice Cream Parlor; "Elmo in Grouchland" at BAM with a surprise visit from Kevin Clash and the real Elmo (favorite moment: Miranda got on the mike and said "Hi Elmo"; Elmo responded with "I love you."); a friend's 4th birthday party at the local park; and much more.. I also managed to work on film stuff every day.. excited to have a few more peeps attached to the short film.. about to launch kickstarter campaign in about a week (!!!).. Time to go.. daughter finally home and she's alternately kissing both of my arms and showing me what Elmo's face looked like yesterday. Good evening!

a girl can dream..

fundraising season

It's been almost a month since my last post. I have been wanting to share this blog, but haven't felt ready.. I believe the time is arriving soon though..

Am gearing up for a kickstarter campaign in the coming weeks. Very involved! It is a good practice for me to gather up all my contacts, resources, ideas, and it is helping me to plan out the shoot well in advance of the March filming date. Of course, there are still many details to finalize, but the kickstarter deadline is helping me to get my ducks in a row.

I continue to feel that Miranda comes first. Her needs must be taken care of on several levels. Then I can put time and energy into making films and building a career as a filmmaker. And I am finding time to do this every day. But Miranda is the pinnacle of the mountaintop. What a joy.

grateful

I am learning how to integrate my filmmaking into my daily life. I have to at this point. Also, I truly love being with Miranda and sharing these precious moments with her. It has been hitting me a lot lately how lucky I am. In a year she'll be in pre-K and almost 5; a year after that, she'll be in kindergarten... It seems far away sometimes and at other moments it seems like it will be instantaneous. I don't want to take a moment for granted.

Yesterday I saw 2 friends and had lovely visits with a new baby and a playdate with Miranda and a dear friend of hers. Both visits included intensive and illuminating conversations about my new short script.. both are people who I will collaborate with in the future... had a wonderful day with Miranda and also gained clarity on my project--changes to make it stronger and next steps.

Crisp fall days.. crisp focused artistic forward-moving thoughts.. moments forever in my memory (smelling roses with Miranda at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden today; skipping and singing "follow the yellow brick road"; laughing in the car..........). Grateful.

hmm..

I’m still pondering the question.. how can one be a filmmaker and a full-time mom at the same time? I don’t have exact answers... I know that childcare is an issue, and finances are very closely connected to that. But I’m actually wondering if I am asking the right question. Maybe the question isn’t framed correctly. Maybe it should be, “How can I be the best mom possible and also make my art?” I think that is the more important question. One can always do many things, but can one do them well? And what is most important?