"The Double Life of Veronique"--I saw this just out of film school in L.A. First time ever living by myself. It was difficult to pound the pavement to get paid work and to be alone save for new acquaintances and one troubled relationship. I saw this film and it took me into another breathless world. I felt I could relate to having a doppelganger, someone who I felt deeply connected to without ever having met them. The acting by Irene Jacob hit me like a ton of bricks when I saw it. I was completely mesmerized with everything about the film and was the next several times I saw it. I watched it again about 10 years later and it didn't hit me in quite the same way. But I will always have a soft spot in my heart for this film.
"Gas Food Lodging" - Believe I was also in Los Angeles when I saw this at the theater when it was released. I related to it. It was about a single mom and her kids living without much money in the New Mexico desert. Completely relatable from my point of view. And the protagonist, played by Fairuza Balk, loved new wave and fell unwittingly in love with a gay boy, as I did in high school. I love the relationship between the sisters and the mom, and the journey of both daughters throughout the film. I love Allison Anders. I love female protagonists. I cannot wait to make my film about growing up with my own single mom and brother traveling around the country in a red VW bus throughout my childhood. I think this film was an inspiration for me because I could recognize something from myself and my own life up there within an amazing film.
"Nashville" - Saw this on DVD about 10 years ago, maybe a bit less. Was tipsy after a dinner party the first time. I could not believe what I was seeing; my jaw dropped open in awe. Watched it the next day without the influence of wine and was still in awe. I loved how Altman was able to meld realistic performances with music (original and written for the film and performed by ACTORS not singers) that felt like it was from Nashville with an interweaving and interesting storyline with news from the day (constantly hearing it on the radio from loudspeakers on cars and other places throughout the film).... I love that it feels almost like a documentary as opposed to a narrative film and doesn't feel it has to fit into a structure. It appeals to everything I love about films and captures something that is unique and true. I would love to act in something like this and also to direct something that feels as loose and creative and free and honest. Bruce and I still play and sing tunes from this.. "Keep A'Goin'" is a CLASSIC.
"L'Avventura" - This was the first Antonioni film I ever watched. How beautiful and unique. What incredible acting by Monica Vitti. I felt she captured what it feels like to be in love and what it feels like to be betrayed. And the way Antonioni chose to tell this story, through vistas of water and mountains and architecture and sweeping halls..... It made the feelings of the characters come out all the more. It is like reading an amazing children's book.. the story and pictures complement each other until there is a feeling growing inside that must be released in tears.
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I am not able to see as many films as I would like any more. Still a full time caretaker of my daughter (save for the 2 1/2 hours when she's in school when she's not sick), my limited free time is spent working on projects. I try and fit films in when I can. Recently somehow I managed to see "Lincoln" (loved it), "Les Mis" (hated it, walked out), "Rust and Bone" (eh, I'd give it a 1), and "Clean" (not bad.. had some moments I liked and some what felt like truthful insight into what it's like to be a heroin addict and musician but ultimately just okay), but there are so many more I'd like to see (in the theaters: "Amour", "Silver Linings Playbook", "Zero Dark Thirty", etc., and sooooooo many on Netflix). Mostly I want to see films that recently played festivals that are not yet available on DVD. I have to patiently wait until they are available and view them in snatches of time here and there on my 19" tv set or computer. I am not complaining.. not really... I still get GREAT joy out of watching a sublime film and it is like eating candy or chocolate or coconut cream pie or getting a new dress that is divine. I just don't get to do it as often as I'd like.
However, I do get to spend time with my daughter and to be a filmmaker. And that is enough for now. Balancing it with joy, fun, open-ended creativity, and exercise is my challenge and goal.
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